At the end of 2025, I completed my Saturn Return. Yes, thank you, I made it. Just last week, I completed my 30th trip around the sun, completing my most recent solar return. In all of this returning, I have been returning to myself, again and again. I’ve gone dark to be with my shadows, to be present with community, and to launch my business which is helping me actualize all of my learnings.

Every step of the way there are reminders of who I am, who I have always been, connections to those who came before me that I never knew, and affirmations that I am on the path, my ancestors, guides, and Spirit have lead me to. Even still, that fear, those voices that aren’t mine, the weight of the world, the imposter syndrome of it all, continues to sneak up on me.

Launching Anika Pathways was never about finished work. It’s about being in the midst of our work, together. To honor the mess, honest, unapologetic truth of living in authenticity in a broken world as we work as a collective to liberate ourselves and build anew.

It’s taken me a long time to write this month. To honor what I have to say and to take my power back from perfectionism. I am quieter than I ever have been and the more I listen, the more we have to say. Staying internal, allowing our liberation to only be in our minds, simply is not liberation.

I guess you could consider me part of the 30 something gang.

And for those that don’t know that Gilmore Girls reference or that I am a Gilmore Girls stan, let me break it down very quickly. I grew up watching Gilmore Girls, it ended in 2006 when I was in middle school and the reboot, A Year in the Life (AYITL) came out in 2016 my senior year of college, so now another 10 years later, in 2026 I find myself reflecting on the parallels I have had with Rory, which I hate to say because hands down she was the most annoying character. 

Nevertheless, it's true, there are some similarities and more than that, the show has been a staple in my upbringing, watching on the WB with my mom, aunt, and cousin. Then. once you could easily rewatch shows and I mean no more DVD or VHS box sets, I started streaming (and still do) the entire series probably once a year. In undergrad I even did my whole RA theme around Stars Hollow. Big fan.

Anyways AYITL, Rory comes back, 30 something, as disappointing as ever but spoiler by the end she writes Gilmore Girls. From the outside perspective it seems silly that it took four 2+hour long episodes for her to figure out that as a writer she should archive her life. But, she returns to all of the very parts of her that make her the Rory we actually like and by the end she’s 32, the age her mom was at the start of the series when she was 16, and now she’s pregnant.

So being that we are 10 years later, I’d like to imagine that 42 year old Rory has a 10 year old child she is raising with Jess, that Logan is single and is the best co-parent and that she looks back on her 30’s so grateful that she chose to archive. And I manifest daily that Amy Sherman Palladino gives me the Christimas movie, I deserve of this very scenario.

Cue me. Today, just shy of 31, trying to make 41 year old Court and 21 year old Court, and every variation that has been and will be, proud.  

As I continue through another season of transition and returning to myself, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on what brought me here and all the little and big moments that mattered.

The last five years, especially, have taught me so much. As I think anyone who has between the ages of 25 and 30, experiencing their solar return can imagine. I chose adding being newly wed, and then divorced, and then a newlywed again..two career shifts, and two cross country moves all within that time frame.

Oh yeah and drove across the country as an intentional pilgrimage for 3 months with my cat. Yes, I am a Gemini, thank you for asking.

I lived many lives during those five years. So, I’ve been thinking about the human that existed five years ago and ten years ago and the human that will exist in five and ten more years. And how I might be able to honor them both in who I am being today.